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Three Kicks
A big-city, anti-gun lawyer went duck
hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's
field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an
elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The
litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now
I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my
property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said,
"I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me
get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small
disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked,
"What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied, "Well,
first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back
and forth, until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed
contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide
by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and
walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work
boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick
nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly
when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. The
lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said,
"Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!"
The old farmer smiled and said, "No, I
give up. You can have the duck!"
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