Unregulated bathtubs cause over 200,000 injuries every year How many more
must die in the cold porcelain of the household bathtub before we come to our
collective senses? This all too common appliance is a proven killer. Unregulated
bathtubs cause over 200,000 injuries every year. There are over 100 drownings
and 70 people cooked to death in scalding bath water each and every year. Add
the suicides, falls, and deliberate murders that take place in tubs, and the
death toll mounts. Sadly, children comprise 75% of the fatalities.
Many European nations have long recognized the risk inherent in bathtubs and
have reduced the use of them. Yet in the United States, the bathing culture is
rampant, and leads to death and suffering on a gigantic scale. There are those
who claim that bath tub use is justified under certain circumstances. Some claim
that bathtubs are necessary for cleanliness. Is personal vanity more important
to you than a child's safety?
Recreation is often espoused as a legitimate use of the bathtub but can be
disregarded out of hand. No brief thrill is worth the cost of maintaining one of
these deadly instruments of destruction in your home. Research shows that the
chances of drowning or being boiled in your bathtub are greater than the chances
of inducing a supermodel of the opposite sex to share it with you.
Steps should be taken at once to register tubs. Our government at present
does not even know for sure how many of these killer devices exist! Simply
incorporating a few questions into the upcoming census would help authorities to
determine the size of regulatory agency needed to enforce license requirements.
Many bathtubs hold up to 18 inches of water. The variety known as the
"spa" or "hot tub" may hold even more, and has been
implicated in cases of date rape. Some of these assault tubs can have as much as
24 inches of water and various automatic jets, whirlpools, and heaters, which
make them attractive to the criminal bather. Our legislature should take steps
to limit all new bathtubs to holding 3 inches of water. This should reduce the
chances of mass drowning significantly.
Of course, children make up the overwhelming number of bathtub victims. Even
if you do not own a bathtub, your child's friends may have parents who are
irresponsible bathers. The common sense solution is for people to use faucet
locks. Faucet locks can be easily mandated by government, enforced by a new
agency set up specifically with tub safety in mind, and subject to in-home
inspections at households with registered bathtubs.
Regardless of any "right" claimed by the pro-bathing crowd, (a
right which is never mentioned in the Constitution) precedents have already been
established for bathroom fixture regulation. The Supreme Court has so far
refused to hear any cases involving environmentally friendly commodes, thereby
pointing out the foolishness of those who say that the government requirement of
a toilet that doesn't work is some kind of tyranny. We should continue to
educate these malcontents and inform their children of the stubborn and selfish
ways of their parents.
How can you get involved in insuring your children's safety? The most
important thing you can do is to eliminate your bathtub immediately. Your tub is
not "necessary" to your family's well being, and in fact is more
likely to kill or injure a member of your family or a friend, than it is to
drown a burglar. The benefits of eliminating your tub will be immediate and
noticeable. There will be a certain air about you that says, "I did away
with my bathtub and I'm safer for it." Lobby your legislators to
immediately invoke new laws to insure your safety from tubs. Give them money if
you have to. Write nasty letters, stage protests, and organize anti-bathing
individuals to stand around in legislative chambers. You WILL be noticed.
Finally, join Bathtub Sanity, the only organization dedicated to your safety
from this menace. At B.S. we are constantly involved in political action,
research, and public education. We even maintain a facility containing various
models of assault tubs, which our staff researches and tests at considerable
personal danger.
Your children deserve to be safe, no matter the inconvenience or hardship.
They cry out for your protection. Would you deny them?
