|
Remember Pearl Harbor
By L. Neil Smith
lneil@ezlink.com
You may not believe it, but I find it difficult to advertise
myself, a pursuit which is nevertheless necessary for survival
in my profession, especially for a novelist as politically
incorrect as I am.
I bring this up because I've had an idea about defending the
philosophical borders of the United States (under attack
more brutal and unrelenting than any merely physical borders)
and if there were a better instrument handy, I'd choose it,
rather than what I'm about to suggest.
Liberals and conservatives claim to agree with one another
that the application of Libertarian political and economic
principles would be a disaster for any country foolish enough
to adopt them. I don't believe them. I believe they know
that Libertarianism would bring about a century of unprecedented
peace, prosperity, and progress, which would be a disaster
for politicians, not to mention the mass media.
Another thing liberals and conservatives and everybody in between
claim to agree on (and this time I do believe them) is their
bitter and implacable hatred for all things Japanese. From Michael
Crichton, to Pat Buchanan, to Jack Valenti, to Ross Perot, everybody
of every conceivable stripe, check, or tartan is eager to start
dropping nukes on Nippon again. How dare those little buggers
sell us all those beautiful, inexpensive, reliable radios, VCRs, TVs,
and gasp!, automobiles!
Sad to say, I'm not too crazy about the Japanese myself these days
(or at least their corrupt and peculiar government). These worthies
-- who own and operate a culture that allowed its troops during World
War II to eat its prisoners of war, a culture infamous for
savagely beating any tendency toward individualism out of preschool
children before they're four years old, a culture where cops inspect
private homes for drugs and guns twice a year and torture suspects
to obtain confessions, a culture more steeped in bigotry and racism
than South Africa was ever accused of being by its worst enemies --
appear to be laboring under an impression that they have something
legitimate to say regarding the unalienable individual, civil,
Constitutional, and human right of every man, woman, and responsible
child to obtain, own, and carry, openly or concealed, any weapon --
rifle, shotgun, handgun, machinegun, anything -- any time,
any place, without asking anyone's permission.
What we're talking about is my unalienable individual, civil,
Constitutional, and human right to obtain, own, and carry, openly or
concealed, any weapon -- rifle, shotgun, handgun, machinegun,
anything -- any time, any place, without asking anyone's
permission, and I take it very personally. It isn't enough
that these fish-nibblers opt to ally themselves with Comrade Ted Turner,
Hanoi Jane, and the Communist News Network to annoy us with stupid
petitions and biased "news" stories that would make most pathological
liars blush with embarrassment, now they're attempting to use the
United Nations to push a worldwide scheme of victim disarmament.
(Supplying us with yet another good argument for giving the U.N.
24 hours to get out of town.)
I say it's time we started shooting back (metaphorically speaking)
and that liberals and conservatives had better be prepared to help or
face exposure as the hypocrites and fourflushers we suspect them to be
anyway. They have lots of ugly things to say about Japan, but where's
the action to match their words? Personally, I like radios,
VCRs, TVs, and cars made by the Japanese. (My yearning to possess a Land
Cruiser is physically painful.) I like their prices and I like their
quality.
What I don't like is their attitude.
I mean to put a stop to it.
And I know just how to do it.
As individuals, Japanese love science fiction. Japanese -- as
individuals -- love guns. Japanese love anything American --
as individuals. And I am the gunniest, most individual SF writer in
America.
While the Japanese do their level best to reduce us to what P.J.
O'Rourke calls "bedwetting liberalism" (the actual agenda is stealth
feudalism), I propose to export intransigent I-won'tism to them.
What do I offer as a delivery vehicle? Only the most strident and
obnoxious, colorful and noisy, socially irredeemable and unapologetic
celebration of armed-to-the-teeth rugged individualism I know of, my
own 1980 science fiction novel, recently republished by
Tor Books,
The
Probability Broach.
As I indicated earlier, I feel self-conscious about advertising
myself, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If liberals
and conservatives believe Libertarianism will wreck the nation that
adopts it, they should be enthusiastic about this idea, eager to buy
as many copies of Broach as they can and send them to somebody
in Japan.
Everybody knows somebody in Japan; if they don't, I'll
bet the
International Society for Individual Liberty [(415) 864-0952 or
71034.2711@compuserve.com]
will be happy to supply some names and addresses.
In a nation where young folks are increasingly fed up sacrificing
themselves to the industrial collective and getting nothing in return
but more regimentation, each copy will start a brushfire that Japanese
authorities will have a hell of a time stamping out, which will give
them something to do instead of bothering us. During a depressing
year -- as election years go -- when our choice comes down to a couple
of fascist thugs and a wet noodle, it gives us something to do, as
well.
So come on, liberals and conservatives, come on Mike, Pat, Jack,
and Ross. Put your money where your mouths are. It'll feed my family
and help you get revenge. Unless you secretly believe that reading my
books and adopting my political philosophy will actually help the
Japanese.
Hmmmmm?
Permission to redistribute this article is herewith granted by the
author -- provided that it is reproduced unedited, in its entirety, and
appropriate credit given.
Order my books at:
http://www.webleyweb.com/lneil/lnsbooks.html
My home on the web, The Webley Page: www.webleyweb.com/lneil/
My e-zine The Libertarian Enterprise: www.webleyweb.com/tle/
|