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“Other than supporting The Bill of Rights, does anything constitute
treason in this country any more?” --Minority Mike I stopped by the Last Ditch Attempt Political Observer & Disseminator
(Guns & Bait on the masthead) today to talk with my ol’ friend Ben Wornslick.
Ben is the owner and editor of this weekly rag which folks around here
refer to as The PO’D. If you haven’t seen it, just look in the bottom of
any bird cage in town and you’ll find a copy. Ben’s been in the newspaper
business since Guttenberg was wearin’ little short pants so he’s seen
quite a few politicians and government officials come and go over the
years an’ he swears the current crop is the worst bunch of totalitarian
feebs he’s ever had the displeasure to report on. “More scum than the
grease trap down at Reynaldo’s Guns & Bait & Mexican Fiesta Bar & Grill,”
is how Ben puts it.
We put our heads together to try an’ come up with a word that was
printable in a family newspaper that would describe these droopers. Ben an’ I had
worked our way through a bottle of Ole Be Joyful an’ were just about to
get up offa the floor an’ give up on the whole idea when a lady named
Helen Gone from up Williamston way come in an’ gave us just the word we’d
been lookin’ for. The word is: MUCKSPOUTS. Ben says it’ll look great as a
headline an’ besides that he can spell it. So I’m writin’ this for Ben’s
paper while he sets up his presses to run another edition of what he calls
The Fish-Wrap Gazette.
These here are some true professionals at the art of MUCKSPOUT. ALBERT GORE Al’s China Doll, Maria Hsia, got caught with her hands in the
illegal-campaign-contribution cookie jar the other day and now he’s vowing
to slam the lid on the fingers of everybody else. There’s nothing more
tiresome than a reformed whore, Al, and isn’t it amazing how every time
you get caught doing something treasonous you suddenly get religion? Maria
Hsia is a Chinese Communist, you Quisling slug, and you took money from
her, and if that’s not treason, will you kindly feel the pain I’m
suffering trying to figure out what is?
The recent revelations of the Clinton-Gore-DNC campaign finance chicanery
have been shrugged off by the Clinton administration as “old news” and I’d
like to take this opportunity to point out to them that with age, old
news, like sewage, begins to smell even worse. Seems to me an honest man
would welcome an investigation to prove he wasn’t a lyin’ stinker. But
that’s not the way the elitist socialists at the DNC see it. Here’s their
take on what the unwashed masses think of the recent Gore political
influence rummage sale.
Former DNC press secretary Terry Michael says, “People find all this
irrelevant in terms of things that affect their lives. They see it as just
politics.” Terry and Al are countin’ on that and I’d like to let them know
they’re dead wrong. I find the probability that the Vice-President of the
United States is taking money from Chinese Communists damn relevant in
terms of affecting MY life you arrogant little bastard! Selling out my
country may be “just politics” to you, but it’s treason plain and simple
to me.
Dennis Kanin, a fund-raiser for Dribblin’ Bill Bradley had this to say,
“I can’t think of a case where people have voted on the basis of campaign
finance violations.” That’s a sorry assessment of the American electorate
and even sorrier still is the fact that it may be true. Electing
flag-wavin’ gangsters appears to have become the standard for those who
feed at the trough of the liberal left. JANET RENO I’m always amazed at how well Billy Jeff is able to make her dance and
shake around the truth without the cameras ever revealing just who is
pulling the strings that animate her.
While Reno turns a blind eye to the myriad illegalities and abuses of
power commited by the Clinton-Gore Administration, she is more than willing to
focus in completely on the private lives of Americans who are guilty of
nothing other than being Americans. While the Scoundrel-in-Chief is free
to assault women, sell missile technology to Communist Chinese, bilk
people with phony land deals and smear the names and reputations of anyone
he chooses, without benefit of evidence, Janet turns her brand of “law
enforcement” loose on church congregations and anyone having the gall to
use the Internet without her approval. Her incredible Fascist plans for
policing the free speech of Americans present a threat to freedom that
hasn’t been seen since Hitler’s war machine began rounding up and
executing anyone who disagreed with him.
This arrogant, transparent and rancid example of a Clinton hit-woman is
allowed to run loose with her storm troopers over the rights and property
of Americans, while her co-conspirator in the White House sets up deals
with the highest bidders for the yard sale of America. Reno’s ability to
see evil only in the American people she is sworn to protect, while
finding no fault with the ones who would enslave and destroy those same
Americans, is tunnel vision of the most treasonous order.
If Janet Reno represents law and order in America today, will someone
please open the door and show the anarchists in to the living room? I’ve
had enough “law and order,” I’m ready for some justice, and it sure as
hell isn’t going to come from Reno’s Justice Department. WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON When Clinton isn’t dancing around the bodies of crime victims, touting a
“cure” that is proven to create more victims, he is busy vilifying those
who would attempt to inject rational thought into any conversation
concerning guns. A sociopathic liar of insane proportions, Clinton
continues his obsessive efforts to disarm Americans in the name of
“protecting them.” Armed with junk science, high emotion, false and
discredited statistics and a press corps of fawning liberal cowards, he
will not rest until all Americans are left defenseless and at the mercy of
a federal government that sees them only as sheep to be herded, fleeced
and slaughtered.
This same man, this murderous dispenser of peace, is responsible for the
deaths of thousands of innocents abroad. Should even the slightest whiff
of yet another scandal fill the air, trust this monster to blow that
odious fragrance away with bombs dropped on the unsuspecting. As the body
count grows ever higher, Clinton, with the aid of a deaf, mute and blind
Defense Department, a gutless and corrupt Congress, and a plethora of
covert, deadly and autonomous agencies, continues to wage his one-man
campaign of murder in the name of peace.
His shameless and ceaseless assaults on the Constitution and the truth
have embarrassed and demoralized America for eight torturous years, yet
Clinton’s only concern is how his “legacy” will be recorded.
This is a man who vilifies those who would demand the right to defend
themselves and murders those who can’t. A man who glorifies the virtues of
feminism and assaults women at every opportunity. A man who decries the
unfairness and stupidity of racism and embraces racists as brothers and
friends. A lover of children who defends the “right” to murder unborn
babies. A proclaimer of honesty and ethics whose lack thereof is legion. A
practitioner of slander, libel and character assassination who wants us
all to get along. An adulterous philanderer who expounds on his love of
family values. A defender of freedom who deems his personal whims national
law with the stroke of a pen. The Commander-in-Chief who has rendered our
armed forces virtually defenseless and totally demoralized. A man who
claims to revere education, yet demonizes any thought or speech contrary
to his own. A rallier of the misinformed and stupid who fall in behind him
like sheep as he capers at the head of the parade to world socialism, and
hence, slavery.
This is our President, and woe unto us, for truly he is the
personification of treasonous MUCKSPOUT.
Ben got his press all ready to go but after he read what I wrote he said
he was some surprised to see I wasn’t in my usual humorous mood. I allowed as
how he was right an’ I was sorry about that.
I see my country bleeding and dying at the hands of people who care not a
whit for anything other than there own selfish gains. I see my children
growing into a world of slavery adorned with trendy causes and Fascist
sound bytes disguised as popular thinking. I see the America my ancestors
fought and died for being sold to the highest bidders for the profit of a
treasonous elite. I see my family’s freedoms stripped away from them by
people who demand their allegiance and obedience at the point of their own
government’s guns. I see my right to dissent labeled as extremism by
totalitarians who fly banners demanding “correct thinking.”
I see America being stolen and sold to those who would destroy her and I
find that not in the least bit amusing.
Minority Mike aka Michael J. Bates can be reached at thunder_foot@hotmail.com His wife, Margaret, helps him with the big words in the letters you write him.
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