Letter from a Criminal
Letter
from a Criminal
By Armed Rapist
(Original author, Angel Shamaya)
Dear Gun Control Advocates & Anti-Self-Defense Media,
I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for making my
job easier. Every time you make it harder for
my victims to defend themselves against me, my job as
a criminal gets less risky. When I know my women don’t have a gun, I get what I want with almost no resistance.
Those local ordinances all these great American cities
keep enacting after I commit one of my crimes--you
know, the ones that tell law-abiding citizens they
can’t carry a gun---well, they are Wonderful! Gives new meaning to the phrase "The Land of Opportunity." Each year,
my ability to commit violent crime gets
easier--less risky, if you know what I mean--and I owe
it all to the great work you’re doing to disarm
my prey.
Oh, that licensing and registration thing--love it. Less
people will buy guns once again, for sure. Heck, I
can get my guns on the street cheaper than the ones
in the gun store anyway, so licensing and registration won’t faze
me a bit. You’ve even helped me enlist some buddies
into my gang because they aren’t afraid of
getting caught any more, so thanks for that, as well.
Please keep up the great work for gun control measures
which disarm law-abiding people. I’m really
proud of the work you’re doing. You have my full
support.
Sincerely,
Armed Rapist
PS. Though I’ve raped a bunch of women, I’ve
never actually committed armed robbery
because I
just never knew if they had a gun or not. But now,
I’m thinking of expanding my business!
