Well, Hitlery and Bill are in Colorado today to wring the last drop of blood (and political leverage) out of the murders at Columbine High.

It's a measure of how important this ghoulish enterprise is to them that they're here together, keeping company neither of them can really stand any more. Meanwhile, another "totally coincidental" school shooting -- exactly one month to the day after the one they're celebrating -- has been conveniently arranged for them in Atlanta, Georgia.

But I have a question.

And some answers.

Exactly how stupid do Bozo and Evita imagine the American people are, to fall for yet another of these carefully orchestrated media events?

Answer: as stupid as 49 percent of the voters who returned them to power after it was glaringly obvious to anyone with an IQ higher than his shoe size precisely what kind of corrupt and murderous trash they are.

Answer: as stupid as most Hollywood actors or daytime TV talk show hosts.

Answer: almost as stupid as the average Republican officeholder.

Here to greet Polly Pot and her pustulent part-time spouse, amid adoring TV cameras, microphones, and flashing bulbs vastly brighter than the Goebbels wannabes wielding them, is Colorado Congresswoman Diana DeGette, 1990s Liberalboy centerfold for victim disarmament and cultural genocide. Further violation of the highest law of the land -- despite 25,000 gun laws already on the books -- is the topic of the day, and the only voice allowed to speak on the side of what's right is the tired, shaky, frightened, flatulent, yellow-striped, jelly-spined, gutless, butt-stupid, senile, and thoroughly corrupt, thoroughly Republican voice of the thoroughly Nationalized Rifle Association.

If I were religious, I'd thank God (or Algore) for the net. If it weren't for the world wide web, we'd all be stuck listening helplessly to the irrational maunderings of Rosie O'Donnell (have you shopped at Target today -- instead of K-Mart?), the self-important and meaningless pontifications of KOA's quota-conservative Mike Rosen, or the pusillanimous surrenderings of Pepe LaPierre and Charleton Heston. Instead you get to listen (virtually speaking) to me; ain't science wonderful?

Diana DeGette is a piece of work, originally plugged in by the commissars of Socialist Party A to replace Patricia Schroeder, that cadaverous, nasal-voiced, clench-toothed, Vassaroid Rocky Mountain answer to Cruella DeVille. Whereas old Pattie (who, along with the cadaverous, nasal-voiced, clench-toothed, Vassaroid Sarah Brady, would make a fine set of bookends -- for Steven King) only made a hobby of stripping the poor and elderly of their "life preservers" in a city transformed into a jungle by the policies of Mayor Wellington Webb, his predecessors, and his cronies, Diana means to make it her life's work.

I don't know what it looks like to the politically disengaged, to the more-or-less innocent everyday liberal, or (if they actually exist) to honest reporters in the various media, but it is beyond me how this visit to Littleton -- by the leading couple of the vilest, most bloodsoaked presidential administration in American history since the War between the States -- can be seen as anything but what it is: a pair of turkey-necked vultures stooping down from their saguaro, where they've been waiting, not all that patiently, to feed off the dead.

What Congress should be doing -- instead of passing more useless, stupid, and illegal gun laws -- is investigating all these remarkable shooting "coincidences" over the past couple of decades, maybe even as far back as the JFK, MLK, RFK, and GCW assassinations. The stench of all of this astonishing political convenience is getting too strong to ignore.

Are you listening, Congressman Paul?

As for Diana, it's too bad she can't find something more creative or humane to do with her career than having decent people beaten up and killed for exercising their constitutional rights. She would return us to an era in which, without Sam Colt's equalizer levelling the playing field, the biggest thug or the biggest gang rules the day -- and where a woman has no choice but to submit herself to injury, humiliation, and death because she's been deprived of the means of self-defense.

The most important thing to understand is that Diana knows this perfectly well. She knows all of it. She knows that guns in private hands save lives and that gun control is the great mass-killer of our time.

Make no mistake: despite all the eyelash-fluttering and her sappy little girl voice, Diana is evil and pursues the same evil agenda as the Butcher of Mount Carmel and his wife, Lady MacBeth. Like Hillary (voters of the state of New York take note), she properly belongs in some clinic performing lobotomies and electroshock, not in the US Congress.

Or better yet, in a courtroom in glass box, like her political ancestor Adolf Eichmann, on trial for attempting to murder the Bill of Rights.

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