Dear Friend,
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise five
million dollars for a monument of Bill Clinton. We originally wanted to put him
on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more
faces. (But we HAVE gotten him his rightful place at Rushmore. Click
here to see that one.)
We then decided to erect a statue of Bill Clinton in the Washington D.C. Hall
of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was
not to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or
beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton could never
tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest
Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know where
he was, returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else's
money.
Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your
asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land." Nearly 5,000
years later Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your
asses, light up a camel, this is the promised land." Now, Bill Clinton is
going to steal your shovels, tax your asses, raise the price of your camels, and
mortgage the promised land.
If you are one of the fortunate people who have anything left after paying
taxes, we expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project.
Thank You,
Bill Clinton Monument Committee
