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Car & Drug Buyback

After its successful gun buyup recently, Chicago has decided to expand the program.  They will now buy illegal drugs and stolen cars.

"There are people out there with drugs, who really don't know how to get rid of them.  There are also junkies who might not want them anymore," Mayor Richard Daley said.

The city plans to have a month-long amnesty for various criminal items, and is offering compensation.  For a syringe, they'll pay $5.  For a dimebag of coke, $50, and $25 for a hash pipe.  Domino's is offering a free pizza with each item turned in.

"Our goal is to get drugs and crime-cars off the streets, " Cook County Sheriff Sheahan confirmed.  "They can bring us their cars, no questions asked, and we'll give them $200," he explained.  He said that some of these cars may have been used in hit-and-run encounters, drug deals, or other crimes.

The police will do a quick check to see if they were stolen, then destroy the cars.  "They may have been used in crime, but no more. We'll get them off the street forever," he said.  If stolen, the owners will be questioned.  "We want to know how the crooks get them," he added.

When asked about returning any stolen vehicles to the rightful owners, Mayor Daley replied, "Hey, it's their own damn fault for not storing them in locked garages with the engines removed.  They're lucky we don't run _them_ in.  Besides, we've got buses and the Metra.  Anyone who uses a car in this town is simply a drug dealer or other criminal in waiting.  I don't give a damn about any crap about rights--these people are helping the criminals by making the cars available to be stolen, if they aren't planning crimes themselves."

The city has budgeted $6 million dollars for the project, and 20 officers.


 (c) 2000 by Michael Z. Williamson.  All Rights Reserved.  Permission is granted to copy this article in its entirety including this credit.

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The right of the people to keep and bear arms has been recognized by the General Government; but the best security of that right after all is, the military spirit, that taste for martial exercises, which has always distinguished the free citizens of these States....Such men form the best barrier to the liberties of America — Gazette of the United States, October 14, 1789.

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