If War They Want, War They Shall Have

by Michael Z. Williamson

To quote the famous rabbit, “You realize of course, that this means war.”

Indeed, war it is. The anti-defense bigots (and they are bigots, make no mistake) are willing to lie, cheat, twist, evade, avoid, confuse, whine, sob, and moan to destroy our rights.

Therefore, our only restraint should be the law. Ethics, morality, decency and fair play are out the window. In that spirit, below are my ideas for guerilla warfare against bigots. Feel free to expound upon them, but please stay within the law.

1) Many states have exceptions that allow one-armed persons to own gravity knives or switchblades for convenience, even if their general possession is restricted. Try to pass an exemption in your jurisdiction allowing one-armed persons to possess bullpup configuration weapons, if they are illegal in your area. Chip away at that wall one brick at a time.

2) Visit your elected representatives. Ask them to pass proper laws for our protection, and repeal weapons laws. Have your friends visit, too. Go singly and in pairs, so as to make as large an impact as possible. Sixty or seventy visits is bound to make an impression.

Now we come to the fun parts. Take notes, there will be a quiz later.

HCI used to send out postage paid envelopes with their drivel. Enough gun owners sent the envelopes back empty or full of lead sheets at HCI’s expense that they stopped. But the fun is far from over.

Handgun Control
Center to Prevent Handgun Violence
1225 Eye Street, NW,
Suite 1100
Washington, DC 20005
(202) 898-0792
Fax: (202) 371-9615

The Bell Campaign
1-800-746-4464

Call them early and often. State your objections (politely and without threats) to their programs. Have your friends call. Tie up their phones all day. Even better: call them at night and request they mail you information. Request they return your call during the day on their dime. If enough bogus calls come in, they’ll have to ignore requests received at night. It all helps.

As far as daytime calls, sound sympathetic and request information. Call back a few days later, and request more. Have it sent to you, your spouse, your children, dogs and cats. Perhaps your goldfish would like information. Add an apartment number to your house address, so you can use it multiple times. Use fake apartment numbers in your building. Use your work address (and the work addresses of all of your friends above). Use your PO box. Remember your previous address, where the street numbers progressed by 4s? Create a street number halfway in between, and a bogus name that cannot be confused with your old neighbors. Have them send out thousands of packets that cost $5 each to print. Bankrupt the bastards. If they learn to recognize your voice, spend 33 cents on a stamp and write them.

It gets better. Wouldn’t it be amusing if 20,000 gun owners each sent them a brick? [With their self-addressed, no postage required envelope attached to the box?] First we mail them the outhouse, then we see them in it. Perhaps some enterprising people will write the Second Amendment on said bricks. Hit them with enough bricks, they might get the hint. 

Call them again. Since they support safer guns (or claim to), ask them which guns they recommend. Confuse them and tie them up further.

Let’s ALL call them on July 4th and tell them politely how much we object to their presence.

Claim to be a reporter. Ask them for primary source data on their statistics. (They don’t have any.) Keep asking as they name article after article. Ask for the original study. Be polite and patient and let them get frustrated. If they eventually get angry enough that they get snippy with other reporters, it will hurt them.

Write again. Ask for a copy of their tax exempt paperwork. Their latest financial statement and a copy of Federal Form 990 are what you want, and they are required by law to provide it to anyone who asks. This costs them time and money, and it’s useful information to have.

Sarah Brady’s birthday is February 6. Buy a gun every February 6 to celebrate. Call them to wish her a happy birthday and let her know you are celebrating. Tell her all she has to do to stop the proliferation of guns is stop having birthdays.

Lastly, file suits. If they make a statement you feel is actionable, find a good pro-bono pro-rights attorney (not necessary, but useful), and file in court. Claim harassment, slander, libel, violation of their tax-exempt status, violation of their by-laws, anything. It doesn’t matter if you lose. Every suit requires discovery, which eats up office time, attorney’s fees, and generally runs them ragged. One of the largest organizations attacking “cults” was put out of business by the huge volume of suits filed by Scientologists. If we win this, we could wind up OWNING the trademarks and names associated with this organization by buying it out when it dies. Wouldn’t that be poetic?

Don’t forget, all of these work with small, local organizations, too. Kill them before they grow, and dance on the graves.

Author's Note: the above is all intended for educational and theoretical purposes only. Neither the author nor KeepAndBearArms.com advocate any illegal or racketeering actions. All readers are urged to consult with their attorney before doing anything that may be actionable.


(c) 2000 by Michael Z. Williamson. All Rights Reserved. Permission is granted to copy this article in its entirety including this credit.