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THE NEW CAR

A woman always wanted an expensive car - a status symbol to drive around and flaunt. She scrimps and saves, goes to the BMW dealer, and plops down many dollars for a brand new state-of-the-art, computer enhanced dream-mobile.

She's driving off. Decides she wants some music and searches for the radio. The dashboard looks like a control panel at NASA. She fiddles with this button, that gizmo... jiggles these and those, but finally gives up. Can't find the blasted thing.

Furious, she races back to the dealership and screams at the salesman. Tells him they forgot to install the radio.

He assures her it's right there in front of her. It's hooked into the onboard computer and voice-activated. All she has to do is tell it what she wants to hear.

He demonstrates: "Classical," he says, and "click" -- the car fills with the sounds of Paganini.

"Blues," she says, and "click" -- a B.B. King classic plays.

She drives off, amazed.

"Country," she says, and "click" -- a Garth Brooks tune comes on.

"New Age" and "click" -- Yanni at the Acropolis snaps on.

She's so captivated by this new toy that she isn't paying much attention to the road. Another driver runs a light and cuts her off.

"Low-life, arrogant, self-centered scum!!!" she screams.

"click"

"Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States."

 

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 QUOTES TO REMEMBER
Before a standing army can rule, the people must be disarmed; as they are in almost every kingdom of Europe. The supreme power in America cannot enforce unjust laws by the sword; because the whole body of the people are armed, and constitute a force superior to any bands of regular troops that can be, on any pretense, raised in the United States. — Noah Webster in "An Examination into the Leading Principles of the Federal Constitution," 1787, in Paul Ford, ed., Pamphlets on the Constitution of the United States, at p. 56 (New York, 1888).

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