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I’m shocked!

by Scott Bishop


I’m shocked! SHOCKED I tell you!

As recently witnessed by the death of Governor Mel Carnahan, small planes are a death trap! They are an accident waiting to happen. And they should be dealt with accordingly!

Small aircraft are hazardous to fly. Their use alone is indicative of a problem here in the United States, indeed in the entire world, of the lack of concern for human life that we have come to tolerate. And it gets worse! What do you see on so many television shows? Flying! Of small aircraft no less! What are we teaching our children?!

Larger aircraft aren’t much better mind you! There are far too many accidents even in those! Flying is dangerous and seems to indicate a lack of concern for life by those who utilize these death contraptions.

We need to eliminate the small aircraft! If for no other reason than to show our children, the children of Governor Carnahan, that we care, that we are concerned for their safety, and that we are willing to make their future safer.

Sure, some people are going to tell you that the benefits of airplanes far outweigh the safety risks. They will tell you that aircraft save lives. They’ll lie to you and tell you that airplanes are used to douse forest fires just when YOUR home is in the path of the flames. They’ll try to scare you into believing that airplanes have much more benefits than risks and that these benefits outweigh our need to keep our children safe. Poppycock! Our children’s very lives are at stake! We lived without airplanes for nearly seven millennia. Sure, people fell off of cliffs, drowned in the sea, and were smashed with rocks, but the age of the airplane has brought new risks that we can overcome; risks that we should NOT be willing to live with!

Join with me now, and let your friends, family, senators, and associates know that you aren’t going to take it anymore. Let them know that you put your children’s, even their children’s, very life first! Join with me in calling for a ban on aircraft of every kind. We may not get them all now, but we’ll get some, and later we’ll get more, until every aircraft has been destroyed from off the face of the earth. Then and only then can we rest knowing that the future of our lives and those of our children will be safe from the tragedies caused by airplanes.

Other comic reliefs from the stress of dealing with Liberty Thieves:


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That the said Constitution shall never be construed to authorize Congress to infringe the just liberty of the press or the rights of conscience; or to prevent the people of The United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms... — Samuel Adams, Debates and Proceedings in the Convention of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, at 86-87 (Pierce & Hale, eds., Boston, 1850).

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