Prior to voting, this warning must be read to
every Democrat voter:
You are a Democrat voter. You have the right to
If you are too stupid to read ballot
instructions, an eighth-grader will be provided to read and explain them to you.
If you cannot figure out the ballot, a
fourth-grader will assist you in following the black arrow pointing from your
candidate's name to the proper punch-hole choice.
If you are so confused you punch two choices
for President, a third-grader will explain how lame you are and get you a fresh
If you are so feeble you cannot completely
punch a hole in a thin card with a sharp object, a first-grader will be
available to hit your pin with a Playskool mallet for you.
Should you decline any of the above assistance,
you consent to the fact your ballot is final and waive the right to whine,
protest or sue in a court of law.