Hopefully, this chewing out doesn’t apply to any of you. But I know better.
It’s pretty sad when the Million Moron March has to release an accurate
Public Service Announcement about the dangers of the New Year’s practice of
shooting guns into the air. Folks, we are supposed to be the experts. We are
supposed to ridicule them for their ignorance and stupidity. Ninety-nine times
out of a hundred, we can, in clear conscience, because even money says none of
them know the difference between a rifle musket and a rifled musket.
This is instance number 100. Every year at this time, I hear the cacophonous
roar of drunken gap-toothed, slackjawed, white-trash redneck yokels blazing ammo
into the air while hootin’ and hollerin’. What’s worse is that I live in a
large city, and some of the above fools drive Volvos and Mercedes rather than
the stereotypical pickup trucks.
As a matter of fact, most rural dwellers are either too smart to pull a stunt
like this, or live far enough away from neighbors that the risk is minimized.
Despite the negative connotations of the words in the preceding paragraph, the
idiots in question do exist, and do give all of us a bad name, and generally
aren’t the kind normally (and wrongly) associated with it. The false
association continues, however, because idiots will be idiots.
For the clue-impaired, let us review:
1) What goes up will come down.
2) When it does, it can cause damage, injury or death.
3) This is stupid.
4) Very, VERY stupid.
5) It’s also illegal in virtually every city, and with good
6) It gives all we gun owners a bad name.
7) A single death or injury could easily kill your current
right-to-carry or state KABA bill. Permanently.
8) If I wind up as one of your jurors, I will convict you.
9) It is neither cool nor fun to anyone over the emotional age
10) It is not a "boyish prank."
11) It is not "Just having some fun."
12) If you insist on firing a weapon on New Year’s Eve, first
safely insert the muzzle into your mouth to limit the casualties to those who
If you want to make noise, get fireworks, or pop some bags, or crank your
stereo. All these vary in legality, but at least the only person who will suffer
is yourself. The rest of us cannot, will not, and do not want to make excuses
for your idiocy. Especially over the body of an innocent pedestrian.
Copyright 2000, 2001 by Michael Z. Williamson. Permission is granted to copy
in toto for non-profit purposes, provided due credit is given. Mr. Williamson's
website is right here: http://www.cloak-dagger.com.
His archive of writings on our website is right here: http://www.KeepAndBearArms.com/Williamson.
Contact him through email here: email@example.com.