I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that she could see from the bedroom window that I'd left the light on in the shed. As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned the police, who told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back.

"Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to hurry now cause I've shot them all."  Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"