Candidate endorsement interviews at the Review-Journal are a tag-team affair.
As my partner this year I drew political columnist Steve Sebelius.
It's been years since we allowed ourselves to be surprised by the lack of any
clear-cut political or economic philosophy among the main body of candidates who
come trooping through. Most of these souls can't even imagine why anyone would want
one, attempting to spin their lack of any moral or philosophical rudder into an
asset, insisting it's better to "judge each matter on its merits as it
comes along" than to be "doctrinaire" or captive to any
"hidebound ideology" ... as though the shipping line would be more
likely to hire a captain who, instead of avoiding rocks as a matter of principle
in a dull and plodding way, made a fresh decision each morning whether to risk
the lee shoals, depending on whether the first lobbyist to get to him that day
managed to present that course of action as "moderate" and
"reasonable" and "well-received by our focus groups."
Oct. 4 was a good day. First in the door was incumbent Republican Assemblyman
Dennis Nolan, whose daytime job sees him supervising the administration of
drug-testing programs to 30 different transit systems.
Mr. Nolan, a Republican who believes the salaries of state bureaucrats are
too low, thinks state government "runs pretty tight" in delivering its
services, and can't imagine anyplace where the state payroll could be cut.
"You keep using the word 'services,' " I noted. "If I wait in
line down at the DMV and someone finally takes my money to register my car,
they're rendering me a 'service,' is that right?"
"That's absolutely right," responded the neatly coiffed, diminutive
lawmaker.
Advised that Mr. Nolan believes the War on Drugs can still be won, Mr.
Sebelius asked how we're going to keep drugs off the streets, if we can't even
keep them out of the prisons.
"I think we can keep drugs out of the prisons" Mr. Nolan
responded. "You have personnel bringing them in."
The answer is to institute random drug testing for corrections officers, as
well as for the prisoners themselves, Mr. Nolan says. Also -- since "People
object; it doesn't look good" to have over-eager police dogs knocking over
small children in the prison waiting rooms, the new electronic
"sniffing" wands should be used to check visitors for drugs, including
the tiniest tots.
"Sometimes they sneak the drugs in in the babies' bibs, or the women
hide them in a balloon in their mouths and then pass them to the prisoner in a
kiss," Mr. Nolan explains, his eyes widening with enthusiasm as he warmed
to his subject.
"But how are you going to punish prisoners when you catch them with
drugs?" asked Mr. Sebelius. 'I mean, they're already in jail, right? What
are you going to do, put them in 'jail' jail?"
"You have to find some way to discipline them, there's no doubt about
it," replied Mr. Nolan, enthusiastically.
What about the schools, I asked. Should the new electronic sniffer technology
be used to randomly sweep our schoolchildren and their lockers?
"No," Mr. Nolan replied. However, "One of the states -- I
can't remember which one right now -- has adopted a voluntary 'no drugs'
contract from the fourth grade on; both the kids and their parents sign this
contract, and in the contract they volunteer for random drug testing. ... I
think that's a good idea, it's a great program, because if they don't sign then
they can't participate in computer labs and after-school activities and so
forth."
So the kids, already dragooned under threat of jail for mom and dad if they
don't report to the mandatory government propaganda camp nearest them, now
further see their Fourth Amendment protections against unreasonable search and
seizure neatly sidestepped as they're requested to "voluntarily" sign
please-take-my-pee "contracts," with those who refuse to sign being
sent home in ignominy while other kids get to go on field trips and play soccer
after school and act in the school play.
Sounds plenty "voluntary" to me. After all, it's not as though
little kids tend to ridicule and ostracize anyone who won't go along with the
program. Surely no little kid is ever going to be asked why his parents are the
only ones who refuse to "volunteer" him for the pee tests, unless, of
course, they're ... on drugs, or something.
No sooner had we sent Mr. Nolan on his merry way, than Democrat Terrie
Stanfill showed up to fill our door.
Ms. Stanfill -- recruited by the capital Democrats to challenge Ray Rawson, a
solid and hard-working state senator, though not exactly Mr. Showbiz -- got off
to a fast start, waxing enthusiastic about the many wonderful things she hopes
to accomplish up in Carson City with all our tax money, from college
scholarships for poor children to visiting nurses for the infirm. The casinos
"probably need to be taxed more" -- though perhaps not as much as an
additional 5 percent, right now -- and no one should be allowed to escape from
paying "their fair share," she insisted.
"So no one should get out of paying for the public schools?" even
if they spend their own money to send their kids to private schools, asked Mr.
Sebelius.
"No, because then we'd have the Haves and the Have-nots; if we take
money away from the public schools things would be worse."
"What is the purpose of state government?" I asked Ms. Stanfill.
"To be sure we're doing what the people are wanting, running the state
business, that we're introducing laws that should be voted on by the
people," she replied. "You're there for the people; at the state level
you're introducing the bills."
Not a sentence, not a word (needless to say) about just governments being
instituted among men to secure for us our God-given rights and liberties.
"Are there any things that the state Legislature might like to do, that
it can't do?" I asked.
"I'm not sure I'm understanding your question," Ms. Stanfill
replied.
"Are there any matters in which the state lawmakers might think it was a
good idea to get involved, but where they're not allowed to?" I tried
again.
"I'm not sure I'm understanding the question," she repeated.
Mr. Sebelius tried his hand at translating for me.
"Let's say a constituent went to a lawmaker, and wanted him to, say,
outlaw machine guns in Nevada, but the lawmaker said, 'Gee, I've looked at the
list of powers granted to us by the state Constitution, and while I agree that's
a good idea, I just don't find that we have any delegated power to do that.'
What would you think about a lawmaker who said that?"
"Oh, that would be a cop-out," replied the state senate candidate.
I do not mean to imply that, when these candidates go home after a hard day
knocking on doors and promising everyone a share of my purloined paycheck, Mr.
Nolan changes into tall shiny boots and a sharply creased black uniform with
silver skulls on the collar, nor that Ms. Stanfill secretly sneaks out late at
night to attend Communist cell meetings.
I'm sure most of their neighbors would testify these are both fine folk who
love their children and are always willing to bring cookies to the bake sale.
But so too were the faceless clerks and functionaries who kept the trains
running on time in Italy and Germany in the 1930s, pleasant and uncomplicated
folk who loved their dogs and brought flowers to church on Sunday. They did
their jobs, and never gave a thought to which trains were headed where, or who
had been loaded aboard.
Because, after all, they didn't mean any harm. Obscure, theoretical notions
like governments of limited power, or the endowment of the People with certain
inalienable rights -- among them the right to keep what we earn -- were best
left to the eggheads up at the university. These were not the concerns of the
kind of practical folks who merely wanted to make sure no was ever allowed to
decide what substances to put into his or her own body, while guarding against
anyone who would dare "take any money from the public schools," lest
the nation find itself in a situation "where we'd have the Haves and the
Have-nots."
Vin Suprynowicz is assistant editorial page editor of the Las Vegas
Review-Journal, and editor of Financial Privacy Report (subscribe by calling
Norton at 612-895-8757.) His book, "Send in the Waco Killers: Essays on the
Freedom Movement, 1993-1998," is available by dialing 1-800-244-2224; or
via web site http://www.thespiritof76.com/wacokillers.html.
Vin Suprynowicz, vin@lvrj.com
"When great changes occur in history, when great principles are
involved, as a rule the majority are wrong. The minority are right." --
Eugene V. Debs (1855-1926)
"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed --
and thus clamorous to be led to safety -- by menacing it with an endless series
of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary." -- H.L. Mencken